Please stop by and join our new BST strictly only for kawaii! I hope everyone can join and be apart of a my little Kawaii Town!

Sweet Kawaii Swap BST

Let me tell you why this little girl is the BEST...

I've been having a really bad 2 weeks. I can't stop being sad over Dai. It came down to, ~it's been too long since I've seen him~...I can go a couple of weeks without seeing them (my brothers), but it's been way too long...at least a phone call you know, but nothing...slap me in the fuckin Face...

Ever since Dai died, Baby (Jon and I call her Mama) started to pick up sense my sadness when i would cry, and would come to me, even when she's asleep, to comfort me, EVERYTIME. I believe that Dai has told her to do this for me...why you ask? When my Dad passed away, she did not have this trait. It could be that she was still young when my Dad passed away (about 1 at the time) now she's about 3. I can't explain what a joy it gives me that she would comfort me during this time. She truly is my little girl...

Thank you so, so~ very much tomoeeeh, Birdie (Birgit) for gifting me a Flickr pro acct! Now i don't have to hold back when uploading!!!  One of the best presents ever!!!

I'm so Glad that Brownie (my 16 year old, human years, BTW) Chihuahua was awarded "best in show". It's not real, but it puts a smile on my face.  The group is on flickr, Best in Show. LOVE YOU BROWNIE!!!

 

Today marks one month...I can't believe Dai's been gone for one month...

We (Jon and I) will be joining Billy, Seam, and a few of his friends at the basketball court where he last played.

I don't know if it's a good idea for me.

My cousin Linda asked how am I, and i told her depressed...but that's not the word, though, it's the only way i can describe how I'm feeling.  I can laugh and still have fun...to an extent, but what is this feeling?

Then it hit me yesterday when i was talking to Jon.

I'm not WHOLE.

My heart isn't empty because i still have everyone that's left, but 2 people are missing, and I know that those 2 parts will never be filled again.

INCOMPLETE.

These pics will be posted in my flickr too!

( AHHHHHH, can't control cutenesssss....anymore.... )

Like 17??? I know someone whose gone back in time. She's just overwhelmed by how many years a simple make over can take off...you guys ready to find out who she is??? Clue - It's not me...

( Guess who I'd be? )

I took a couple of pics before visiting Dai Today, They're long over due...of Neo-Noir, she doesn't have a name yet.  Thanks to yuuki for the cute top!

it's really on and off...

I cry randomly.

i cry in his room.

i cry in the car.

i cry at his grave.

i cry because i want to.

....then i get angry....

Hi everyone. Thank you all for the incredible amount of support that was shared. I must especially thank you lolibear for making sure to text me and keep up with me, and making sure that I'm okay. Next I'd like to thank you yuhime , you sent me just the most darling "Feel Better" package. I'm not gonna tell everyone what it was...just yet! I want to dedicate a post to it.

I realized that I'm in denial still. I thought it was acceptance, but I was wrong.

( Summary Sadness )

Severe coronary artery disease...

was the cause of death (until it's finalized in June/July, they want a toxicology report)

the coroner said it was the was worst case he has ever seen within his 10-15 years of practice.

My brother was a smoker.

The coroner said that although it takes time for a "normal" person to have the long term effects, it's actually 10 fold for my brothers and I. They way our bodies are...smoking is extremely toxic for us. (I hope that's understandable)

The phrase that sticks in my head is from him..."if it's my time then it's my time..." That was his personality.

Thank you again to everyone for supporting me. I...I don't know what I would do without all of my friends here online.

♥♥♥

I'm hurting so bad that I can't even swallow anything anyone is saying. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

Dai's going to have the Autopsy. My Mother an Older brother (Billy) had said no at first but I was pushing for it. My mother had the over all say and she said yes today. Also he's getting buried rather than cremated like my father. I told her that's not what he would have wanted.

Here's the story.

He went to play Basketball (once a week every week). He went up for a shot and then grabbed his chest and said "oh, Fuck!" And he went down...

They tried for 30 mins and he was gone. i was the first to find out since i was the in the area. I was at the mall across from the hospital when i got the call. I rushed over thinking it was a broken leg or something...I was so wrong...I told the doctor he was lying...

On Wednesday he was complaining of neck pains to everyone, he just thought he slept wrong. It was so fast. He was taken so fast.

I want to vent but i can't put words together that make sense.

We'll find out what happened in a couple of days.

My brother passed away, he was only 28.  It happen so suddenly.  I have no words.  I won't be on as much for the next couple of days.  If you need something from me, Sarah (lolibear ) has my phone number, she can text me what you need.

Dai Tran 07/01/80 - 02/26/09

Bait head from Tina (crazykimochi )?  Well I just received it today, and I'm DONE!  I worked on it on and off for about 3 hours, and she's done...I was a little surprised...but I was really wanting to do one...really bad!!!  I took some pictures but it's with flash..So I'll take better pic tomorrow.  Also she doesn't have a body.  I'll buy that right now!  I can't wait to show everyone!  I call her Earth Angel.  Different from my other customs, which are mostly fantasy types. 

This is gonna be long that there must be a warning sign!  Only cause i posted a bunch of pictures!

( WARNING!!! )